Among the other things that arrived that day was a toilet seat designed so that someone could lie on the ground under it and be bound to it. People could shit or piss directly on that person’s face. It also came with a gas mask that was connected to a long tube that could be inserted into someone’s ass so they could fart into it or piss down the tube.

The girls really liked the craftsmanship and reminded me that I was going to be a full toilet for an entire night on Thursday. “Leftover crumbs and gristle are going to seem like rare treats to you,” Myra teased me.